A 15-year-old girl in crisis has waited over four months for therapy after her parents’ divorce. A sweeping new N.J. custody law meant to protect kids is blocking her care.
WEBDESK – SAMAN NOOR – NJNEWSLINE
A Family Falling Apart, and a Daughter Left Waiting
Fifteen-year-old Claire not her real name has watched her parents’ marriage collapse and her family unravel around her. She can’t sleep. She’s lost interest in seeing friends. She’s missed school dozens of times. Her divorcing parents both want to help her work through her anxiety and depression, but even getting her into therapy became just another battleground. Months passed before they could agree to counseling at all. Now, more than four months later, Claire is still waiting, with no clear end in sight, according to Carmen Diaz, the family law attorney representing her father.
A Sweeping New Law Changes Everything
Had this happened just a year earlier, a family court judge would have simply heard both parents out and ordered therapy based on the child’s best interest. But the rules changed dramatically in January, when then-Gov. Phil Murphy signed the most sweeping overhaul to New Jersey’s child custody laws in a generation. Under the new law, judges have far less discretion to decide what’s best for a child. Both parents must now agree before any therapy can be ordered, any treatment must be backed by scientific evidence, and courts can only check on a child’s well-being through a formal letter from the therapist.
Warnings That Are Now Coming True
Before the law passed, dozens of family court lawyers and therapists pleaded with lawmakers to reconsider, warning it would let emotional problems fester among some of the state’s most vulnerable kids. That fear, they say, is now playing out in real time. Diaz says many therapists have refused to take Claire’s case or any contentious custody case since the law took effect. Because judges can now request updates on a child’s therapeutic progress, therapists worry confidential conversations could be exposed, violating both a child’s privacy and their own professional ethics. The result, Diaz says, has been a growing therapist shortage exactly when families need help most. “This will have a huge impact on children,” she said, calling it precisely what critics feared.
Born From a Fight Over “Reunification Therapy”
The law’s roots trace back to parents many with political connections who lobbied lawmakers directly, arguing the family court system was making already-painful custody battles worse. State Senate President Nicholas Scutari and Sen. Joseph Lagana introduced the bill in May 2025. According to four sources familiar with the matter, a close Scutari associate whose own family endured a bitter divorce was a driving force behind it. The bill passed along party lines, and Murphy signed it on his final day in office.
At its core, the push targeted “reunification therapy” a controversial practice that sends children on weekend trips with estranged parents to mend fractured relationships. Parents, mostly mothers, argued the practice had traumatized their kids, and no scientific studies exist to validate it. Texas and California have already passed laws restricting the practice. But where a compromise once would have limited restrictions to reunification therapy alone, the bill that ultimately passed in December targeted therapy of every kind with no carve-out.
A System Now Stuck in Limbo
Attorneys and psychologists say the law now leaves kids in legal limbo whenever parents can’t agree on whether therapy is needed at all. Elizabeth Rozin-Golinder, a family lawyer in East Brunswick, said the law effectively hands parents “veto power over a judge” by stripping away the tools judges once used to intervene. “We would like to think parents will work together. In high-conflict cases, it’s like putting gasoline on a fire,” she said. And those high-conflict cases aren’t rare family law attorneys estimate roughly 15% of custody cases qualify as “high conflict,” precisely the situations judges are meant to step into when parents can’t compromise.
A Price Tag Many Families Can’t Afford
Beyond the emotional toll, the law carries a steep financial one. If one parent objects to therapy for anger management, a child’s anxiety, or even developmental delays the other may now need to hire expensive experts just to prove the treatment is scientifically valid. “You are disenfranchising many, many families who don’t have the money for an expert. A middle-class family in the state of New Jersey doesn’t have an extra few grand to shell out for experts,” said attorney Shreya Thakkar.
Holly Friedland, president of the New Jersey chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, delivered an even starker warning to lawmakers back in December: “The worst-case scenario is people are gonna die if you take people who need access to mental health services and put too many roadblocks in their way.” Since the law took effect, she says reunification therapy in the state has “come to a screeching halt.”
Delays That Can Last a Child’s Entire Childhood
Family law attorney Brian McFadden of East Brunswick warns the added legal hurdles will only prolong already-lengthy custody battles litigation that can drag on for years, consuming an outsized portion of a young child’s life. For the youngest kids, he said, even brief separations from a parent can feel unbearable: “You will have conflict over what the weather is today. A week feels like a month. A month feels like a year.” Critics also warn the added complexity will further clog an already overwhelmed family court system, which had a backlog of 5,000 cases as of May.
One Case Where the System Eventually Worked
Not every story has ended badly. Diaz also represented a parent whose daughter was struggling so severely with depression that she had begun cutting herself. Two psychologists recommended medication and therapy, but the other parent fought it. Despite the law’s new restrictions, the judge ultimately sided with the parent pushing for treatment, and Diaz says the child is doing better today. Still, the mandatory agreement requirement delayed her care for months before that resolution came through a delay advocates say no child in crisis should have to endure.
